“How are you?” must be the question that I’ve had the most this year. And the worst is, often with a negative undertone, like they were expecting and waiting for a “not good at all” answer. I traded my safe family life for a hectic life as single mother last year and… I don’t regret it all! I learned so much these last months and got to know myself even better than I did before. And pushed my boundaries in many ways…

But let’s be honest, there have been “down” moments too and I’m not ashamed to admit that. My current mood, messages from other moms, followers,… have resulted in this blogpost. One of the most personal I have ever written, but this is the right place and time. I gained a lot of strength by reading these kind of messages while making difficult choices last year. I hope that I can help and support you by sharing my journey.


My number ones! Everything starts with their well-being, nothing is more important than that. They keep me going! Our relationship becomes stronger every day. My youngest is 3 but already aware of many things but it’s my eldest son who’s the biggest challenge. He’s very closed and kind of unsure. Patience, calmth and loyalty are the ways to win his heart. I felt guilty for a long time for messing up their life by putting myself first. (for the very first time since I became a mom) It’s only now that I realize that this is the best choice I could ever make. I feel happier now and that’s a win-win situation for all of us.


It’s in your darkest days that you get to know yourself in a different way. I learned to listen to my body, physically but above all mentally.


You and only you can decide your future. It’s up to you to make the best of it and/or to make a difference. For example: I succesfully graduated as allround fashion stylist and so proud I completed it while my life was (and still is) a complete rollercoaster. I absolutely enjoy blogging fashion and wanted to know more about it to discover if a carreer in this area would be possible. Currently working on some projects and exploring new paths for the blog too. Working on and towards your passion helps to put everything else in perspective.


I don’t have many friends and that’s a conscious choice. I prefer a few good friends instead of a lot mediocre. Also they have helped me through these difficult times. They were there when I needed them. And because of the intensity of our friendship, it wasn’t difficult at all to open up to them. It’s very important to have a few people you can turn to.


Saved the worst for last! After a relationship of 9 years with the father of my kids, love was just no option! Not interested to connect with someone on that level… But sometimes you come across someone unexpectedly. Someone who opens up a whole new world and introduces you to another way of lovin’ and appreciation. But as always, the difficulties quickly became clear. And butterflies were replaced by doubts and fear. And when fear gets the leading role, the future becomes very trouble and unsure… I could bitch and moan about it but it doesn’t really matter. I prefer to cherish the beautiful moments… And even though the story doesn’t have a happy ending, I look back at it with a grateful heart and without any regrets.

Everybody has warned me for the first year after the break up… I agree, it was a hard one. But I’m still standing. Nobody promised me life would be easy, but I promised myself I’d make the best of it. Starting… NOW! Talk to you soon, much love from one strong human being to another! XXX

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  • angel
    November 1, 2018

    you are a strong and brave girl. glad you’re doing better. just focus on your kids and yourself you’ll be fine. time heals all wounds.

  • Victoriament
    November 1, 2018

    I’m glad you’ve overcome so much since the breakup! That’s awesome about your fashion career! Love will find you at the right time, and I’m glad you aren’t out there desperately searching for it. I’m sure 2019 will bring good things!

  • Nathalie
    November 1, 2018

    Nothing but love for you, my sweetie! I knew you could do this and come out stronger than ever at the other side…
    Been through my own load of shit the past few years, and know exactly what you’ve been through. Haven’t been there enough for you (not lately, but not in the beginning of your transition either) and will never forgive myself for that…

    Grateful to have you in my life again, after all I’ve done to you under the influence of others – will love you always and forever – need to make more time for you in my too busy life…

    xxx always…

  • Maartje van Sandwijk
    November 1, 2018

    Good to hear you’ve grown so much since the break up!
    Good luck in 2019!

  • Bree
    November 1, 2018

    I agree with you that you need to cherish the beautiful moments. Thank you for such a heartfelt story!

  • Ruth
    November 2, 2018

    Sounds like you have been through a lot and I admire you a lot from staying positive through out and still being as good as you can be 🙂 I completely agree about the friends part too. I also don’t have many friends and I am fine with that.

  • Emily Fata
    November 2, 2018

    Wow, what an incredible journey you’ve been on! Kudos to you for being such a strong, independent woman raising your boys. 🙂